When I was a young boy, Christmas was a magical time. Santa Claus, special church services, spiced smells, wonderful food and everyone in a happy mood. It was a festive time in our home. What wasn’t there to like?
But then, one year (and out of the blue in my young world) my mom told me I had to give everyone a present that upcoming Christmas. I was about 6 years old and had no money, how I’d pay for those presents was a problem. My family had always bought me gifts that must have cost them a fortune. I was at a loss about how to give back.
Mom explained that I was to get an allowance every week. It was 10 cents, a whole dime and I had to save it to buy Christmas presents. I had to work for my allowance by making my bed, doing dishes and vacuuming the house. By the time I went Christmas shopping, I can still remember, I had one whole dollar saved. Just one dollar to cover my mom, dad and seven siblings.
Even at six years old I knew it’d be close. We went to Stedman’s 5 to 10 cent store in town and a sales clerk helped me pick out gifts. She showed me combs for 10 cents each and I bought one for all the men in my family. The girls all got scarves, tiny little things, but very pretty. The scarves cost 15 cents each. All together, I had just enough.
But when Christmas morning came I felt swamped with embarrassment for my tiny gifts. And that embarrassment tripled when I looked over the larger presents my family had bought me in return.
Funny thing though, no one seemed really unhappy with their combs and scarves. They were all really glad that I’d thought of them that year, and for the very first time.
I know the expression “it’s the thought that counts” is old and overused, but there is such a basic truth in it. Don’t forget – whether you are the giver or the receiver – the thought, that good intention, is far more valuable than the item itself. It’s the love and the good feelings that make this holiday season (whether Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, or whatever you may celebrate).
Give it with love: that’s the real present.
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What a great story Tony – reminds me how important the “little” life lessons are to kids. Up until now, we were so busy at this time of year I usually took care of getting the presents on behalf of our kids thinking I was doing them a favor. As you mention – doing for themselves gives them more satisfaction and learning experience in the end.
Have a great Holiday Season!
Jeff
It was a pretty good lesson, and when I think about it, handled very well indeed by my mom.
What a beautiful story. How blessed you were to be in such a warm family.
I just about choked when I read the subject.
My first gift giving was one of my most painful memories. I saved and saved and saved nickels to buy my mother a gift of little cherubs that where spun by lighting the candles underneath them. I was so proud that I saved and picked out what I thought was the perfect gift only to have her open it, as I watched in extreme delight, and see her face fall and hear her say “now, what am I gonna do with that?”. It devastated me and haunted me for a long time around giving whether it was for Christmas or Birthday or whatever. I guess it’s still a trigger. My intention was love, so much and yet the outcome was not so grand. However, my intention is what I can appreciate by reading Dr Tony’s story and hugging little Dawn in love and appreciation for her spirit. My mother had her own reasons for not enjoying the gift and for that I am not responsible. She returned it and kept the money. She said she would buy a butter dish with the money but never did. Perhaps there is a bigger picture with which I’m unaware. Something deeper going on. I love that my heart was in the right place and that the rest is up to the universe. Not to take anything personally. Christmas time is so charged for so many people and I pray for love and light and peace no matter what the scenario. These are the true meanings of Christmas or any holiday. Time to reflect on our soul and the divine blessings of being alive and all the wonder that life brings no matter what the outside appears to be the inside is always divine.
Dr Tony and Marcelle are always an inspiration to me and for that I am grateful. I believe Charles Dickens said it well enough “Would that the spirit of Christmas could live within our hearts every day of the year”.
Living in heaven 24 / 7 !
Thanks for sharing that Dawn. It makes you realize how important gratitude is to the giver. It is so nice to know that your true spirit shines so brightly!!
Merry Christmas Dawn
Hi Tony,
What a wonderful story. Your mom gave you a wise lesson at an early age. She sounds pretty cool! I’m guessing that you are the young lad standing to the left of your older brother, just behind your father.
I remember when I was six years old, I had just learnt how to draw in perspective, and I drew what was at that time my most beautiful picture – a house backed by rolling hills, trees on either side, a picket fence all around, birds flying and the sky actually touching the hills! It was very, very carefully coloured with bright colours from my Canadiana colouring pencils (the best colouring pencils ever made). I mailed it to my 13-year old sister and asked her in my large, shaky handwriting, not to throw it away.
At the age of six, I also used to make dolls from coloured strands of telephone wire and the buttons that came free in a box of Cheer laundry soap. One day, I broke my mother’s multi-strand necklace of glass beads which was made predominately of red cut glass, but which had other magical glass beads that shimmered the red-blue-violet-green colours of the rainbow. Mom said I could keep the beads to make my dolls. Wow, was I happy! I proceeded to make a doll for my sister. I took the single, largest red bead from the necklace for the doll’s head, and strung the rest of these dazzling beads through the thin strands of telephone wire to make the arms, legs, hands and feet of the doll. It was the most beautiful doll I had made, and I mailed it to my sister.
Many years later when I was having one of my rare visits with my sister, I must have been about 18 years old and she was 25, she opened an old cigar box. In it was the picture I had drawn when I was six and the doll I had made. I was surprised that she still had them. I asked her why she had kept them. She flipped the picture over and said, “You asked me not to throw the picture away, and the doll is very cute.” I was touched that my sister had honoured the wish of a six-year old.
I have found that life brings me joy when I speak and give from the heart. I used to be a shy person and never tell people how much they mean to me. Now that I am more open, I find that I am surrounded by wonderful people who not only inspire me, but who will tell me how I inspire them to inspire others. It’s a great feeling to be able to speak my voice and find that others do listen and appreciate who I am.
That’s a great story Francoise. I love how your mom was sensitive enough to give you the glass beads. And that your sister saved them like she did. It is those memories that warm the heart!
Hope you had a Merry Christmas, see you in the new year.