After being in business for over 30 years now, I was commenting to a colleague of mine how I wished we had done some things differently. “Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda” was her reply. And yes, that said it all. If we could turn back time, just think of all the mistakes we could have avoided. Hindsight is so powerful, isn’t it?
But that comment made me realize how we tend to dwell in the past. What if….. And that was good therapy for me. What’s done is done and can’t be undone. We have all “made out beds” and the past is the past. Time to move on, time to keep on keeping on.
We can’t undo the past, but we can take stock of where we are now and move forward from there. So suck it up Tony, life happens, now lets ge going!
And what about you? Are you stuck in the past, wishing for a second chance. Who knows what that would have brought if you had taken another path, right? And as Shakespear would say, “there is the rub”, what else would be different in your life today?
Share your thoughts with us, I’m sure that I am not the only one to go through this process
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– A blog of a young woman who has just discovered she has breast cancer. Her writing is therapeutic for her, and is a help others going through this trying ordeal
The Intention Experiment with Lynn McTaggert
Hi Tony,
I have a philosophy which works well for me: “Don’t regret the decisions you made in the past. You made them to the best of your ability, with the information you had at the time”.
That being said, sometimes those decisions or survival mechanisms create emotional conditionings/blocks, which while useful in the past, prevent us from moving forward in the present.
I certainly spent many years remembering the sadness of my childhood. I was stuck in the past even though I did not regret the decisions I made.
Thankfully, you have brought me past those blocks through your one-on-one sessions, workshops, teleseminars, and CDs… my favourite CDs being “Rescue Your Inner Child”, “Extreme Empowerment” and “Trauma Freedom Technique”.
It’s great to feel unstuck. Oh yeah!
Ah there is the rub. I’m trying to avoid the word ‘should’ myself.
It’s a hard thing to do though.
Tony, thanks so much for always blessing me with your blogs. Certainly it’s dangerous to dwell in the past which should only serve as a guide. I mostly take them to be things that happened for ones good. No matter how bad they were, no one knows what would have happened in their stead. Probably the end of ones life.
Anne, that’s a great comment.
Having been a detailed-oriented, perfectionist at one time, I had many ‘should’ statements on my mind. Oh, does it wear you down when you don’t get to finish all those ‘should’ statements, and more just keep popping up!
Now I use the word “I choose”, when determining my priorities, I tell others what my priorities are, and I let the rest slide. Saying “no” and then working on your priorities works wonders.
So I’m still detailed oriented, but I’m no longer a perfectionist. Guess what? Nobody noticed the difference, and I’m a lot happier and less stressed out.
These tiny “should” statements are like self-inflicted mini-beatings over our heads which we don’t need.
Keep on reducing those “should” statements. The freedom is well worth it.