If you do a Google Search for “the trouble with men”, you will find first and foremost, the words “Erectile Dysfunction”. But that’s not the trouble with men that I want to talk about.
The trouble I’m talking about is that the majority of men believe that growth and maturity are signs of weakness. I see this again and again where the woman in a relationship reaches a point where she wants to grow, to become more than what she has been, but the man sees it as a sign of weakness. And this is not a middle age crisis I’m talking about, but a natural evolution of the human spirit.
It is only normal to want meaning in your life, to want more than just a nice house and a well paying job, it’s inevitable. But for some reason, men (in general) seem to think that the only thing that counts in life is having the most toys (and the biggest toys) when you die.
And we can all think of men whose life was their job and everything else was a distant second. And when they died, you say to yourself, “well, what else did they do?” I’ve seen it with family, friends and neighbors. But the one that drives me nuts is when my clients, female clients want to grow, to find meaning in their lives and their male partner wants to stop them.
I suppose they never heard that if you don’t grow, then you begin to die because that sure seems to be the way it is. Marcelle and I did the Ultimate Wake Up over the weekend and women always make up the majority of the participants. Such a powerful opportunity for growth and so sad that the majority of men are to afraid to grow.
The following is taken from The Power To Change that lets you know if your man has trouble with his emotions.
I think that most men are afraid of looking weak and go through their lives with a thin layer of pseudo-toughness. They believe they can handle anything, can tough out any situation, and think any sign of emotional growth is a mortal sign of weakness.
What do you think? Let’s open up and share.
And if you want to learn how to detox these negative mind-sets, come to the Ultimate Detox this Sunday, May 6/2012.
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– A blog of a young woman who has just discovered she has breast cancer. Powerful!
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This blog resonates with me since it reminds me of the behaviour of the most important men in my life, you know, “the dark silent type.” What I have learnt is to listen when a man wants to talk from an emotional perspective. Allow him to vent his frustrations, reveal his fears, speak his thoughts. Let him think it through as he is talking. He is not looking for answers or solutions from me since that is often perceived as judgment. When I have done nothing but just listen actively and empathetically, that’s when I get “Thank you for listening,” and that is very cool for me.
Good approach. With some people that is what you have to do, wait until they are ready to talk.
It’s just that sometimes things need to be said.